Friday, September 28, 2007


Me too, junior. Meeeee tooooo.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

It's getting to the point...

Where I'm no fun anymore.
I am sorry.

To make up for it, here is some information you might find very useful. This is a lesson I learned shortly after my surgery this summer, when I was sick to the point that I could no longer ingest necessary medications orally:

Suppositories go up your butt!


I learned this by examining the instruction label on a package of suppositories very, very carefully. Even though I can't actually read, the illustrations are so helpful that I was able to figure it out and use the medication properly...

And that, my friends, is the very definition of awesome.

Then, just when you thought it couldn't get one bit better...
I'd like to state for the record that, since breaking up with my last ex, I actually only have one rectum, and thus found it necessary to use just one suppository at a time. But hey, that's just me. No matter how many rectums you personally have, you're still okay.

I hope you find these marvellously detailed directions as helpful as I did. I am nothing if not a helper.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Ninth Circle Morality Quiz

What would your reaction be if, while browsing through random public photos on Flickr, you came across a closeup of a baby's genitals that someone had posted along with numerous other fully-clothed photos of the child?

Is this appropriate? Inappropriate? Illegal? Freak-out worthy? Reportable? Artistic?

Tell me your thoughts, and then I'll explain.

UPDATE, 9/25/07:
Well, clearly and unfortunately, this wasn't a made-up scenario. I posted about it because, based on my fucked up background, I have a tendency to be overly sensitive about such things, and I wanted to gauge whether I was doing so in this case. Thing is, though, that this was unquestionably a close-up shot of a baby's undiapered lower half, and it was at very least inappropriate. I don't want to think too much about what it was at worst. I was also struck by the fact that the child in question was Asian and all the adults in the photos were Caucasian; it appears as if someone adopted this kid and is now posting exploitative photos of him. That's just fucking great.

Problem is, now flickr won't respond to my inquiries to let me know that they've followed up on it. I'm pissed enough about that to consider dumping my flickr account. If anyone has suggestions on how to contact the flickr folks more directly than via their totally unhelpful help system, let me know. I tried calling Yahoo's customer care, but it's an endless network of pointless pre-recorded bullshit. Not surprising, but irritating nonetheless.

If, by chance, anyone from flickr or Yahoo happens along me, you assholes.


Thursday, September 13, 2007

Please Remain Awesome

Tim and I went to see Cloud Cult at the Bowery Ballroom this past Saturday night.

They either remembered us from last time or just faked it really well...regardless, they greeted and spoke to us like friends, which was indescribably awesome. They sincerely have no idea that they're rock stars. When I showed Craig the tattoo, he went totally wide-eyed and said...and I quote..."Holy goodness!" He was quite enthralled, and we talked about that and other things for some time. They went on to play another fantastic show, of course. Craig's unique observations on the show and New York can be found here (scroll down to the 9/8 entry). Tim and I are in the picture, if you drink a six pack and squint.

This marked my first real effort at photographing a live show. Evidently it went pretty well, because I was approached today by a radio station in Seattle who wants to use some of my photos to promote and document Cloud Cult's tour. Sweet.

The live shots came out okay, but this one is my favorite by far:
How can you not love a band that A) makes brilliant music, B) is completely committed to environmental causes, and C) includes the cutest couple on the fucking planet? I defy you to try. It's unpossible.

Go see this band, people. You'll thank me later. (Not like that time I convinced you to shave "down there" using bubble bath instead of shave gel. Not at all like that. Wait, was that you? Uh...yeah, okay, nevermind. Just go see Cloud Cult! Shit!)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Six years out

I won't go on about the obvious topic of the day. New York as a whole is perhaps a touch less sad today than it was on this day last year, but the city is and probably always will be tangibly haunted by the ghosts of those towers and their occupants. My best thoughts and deepest condolences are with the families of those who were lost.

Shout out to Trent, who has taken to using his insanely popular and decadently irreverent forum to honor 9/11's dead every year.

I would also be remiss if I failed to send a big FUCK YOU out to George W. Bush and his regime, who have not only failed miserably in their so-called "campaign" to bring the culprits of this arguably preventable attack to justice, but rather have bolstered the already virulent anti-American spirit amongst extremists worldwide, thereby exposing the American people to a greater degree of mortal danger than ever before. If there is a hell, Mr. Un-President, may your special place in it be in close proximity to Osama's. And your little Dick, too.
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