Let me back up for a moment...
Since this new season of Project Runway started, my old pal Brando and I have been semi-obsessed with designer Robert Best. (Yes, I know that rhymed, and I hate it, but whatever.) Our little Robert is adorable, talented, slightly bitchy, extremely sarcastic, and of course, queer as daisies.
We love Robert. We need Robert. We Friendsterstalked Robert. We desperately wanted him to win, not only because he's a wonderful designer, but also because someday, we wanted him to support us in the manner to which we've grown accustomed. But alas, it was not to be; Robert was (absurdly and unfairly) eliminated in last week's challenge.
Though I was inconsolable, I managed to control my sobbing for just long enough to send our Robert a Friendster note of consolation and support. We were and are there for him, and if he wants, he can make clothes for us. (I like to help. It's what I do.)
Now, I was not expecting a response, people. Robert is a Big Star now, regardless of his ejection. He makes clothes for Barbie, for christssake...surely he's too busy for me...
But this morning, in my Friendster inbox, I found this...
Very sweet of you to send support and nice wishes. I also hope that you will be seeing much more of me. All in all - it was an awesome experience...see you on the reunion show. Much love. You rock.
You better believe that this bitch jumped up and down, squealing like Tom Cruise on an overdose of Ritalin. And of course, I immediately emailed Brando, not in small part due to the knowledge that he would be absofuckinglutely GREEN about it. Which he totally is.
So, yeah, there you go. As well as being a reality TV starfucker, I'm a total fagala. I only hope that in addition to Robert, the Farmboyz will date me now. Wish me luck. And send me condoms!
ps. I think I'm a top.